At this time of year we often find ourselves around people who stress or frustrate us. The problems between us arise again and again as the Holidays progress. This is a good time of year to set some fresh resolutions; not about losing weight or saving money, but about dealing with our loved ones in a compassionate yet assertive way. Here are some ways to achieve this goal.
1. Understand that _______experiences life from her/his perspective, not mine.
2. Be kind, calm AND assertive with ______so I can be at peace with my own behavior.
3. Accept _________where they are now rather than trying to “help” them change.
4. Give up trying to make __________ happy.
5. Believe in __________________’s ability to do the necessary to live their own life at this time.
6. Let __________experience their own feelings (guilt, fear, anger etc.) without my getting caught up in them.
7. Let __________experience and deal with their own emotional pain.
8. Do not take control of things that __________should do on their own as a grown adult.
9. Set and maintain my personal boundaries with ___________.
10. Forgive the past and focus on the positive aspects of my relationship with ____________.
11. Accept my own feelings about ___________whenever they come up and don’t try to push away those feelings.